Blind Your Fears

Stage fright is something I have to deal with on a daily. In school I currently participate in chorus, and theater. On the side I'm writing and sharing my work on multiple platforms. Stage fright isn't just the fear of being on stage, but really its the fear of being in the spotlight. Yet I still do it, why?

Personally, it feels kind of trapping to know that my fears can stop me from doing what I love. Its terrifying to know that if there was ever an opportunity that can change my life, fear can tell me “don’t do that” and I would turn away, and regret never taking that chance. Thats why I push through my fear.

Today, January 13th, 2024, I had a rehearsal for a showcase of my work on a college campus. One of the stories I read during my showcase was called Insanity or Not. (If you would like to read this check it out in my Published writing Gallery on deviant art)

FearOfTheLiving — Hobbyist, General Artist | DeviantArt

(The reason I call it a published gallary on deviant is because its going to be showing up in a book on the 21st of janurary.)

During the rehearsal we all got into our sections of what we wrote, mystery, fiction, poetry, ext. Each group would go up one at the time, mystery was first, and that included me. I for some reason volunteered to go up first. When we had to go up I held the paper with my work on it, I cut it down quite a bit to fit within the 2–3 minute mark that we had for our personal showcase.

When I had to go up, my hands were trembling, my breath shaky, skin burning. I felt like I was on fire. I began to read, at first my words were to slow, choppy and shaky. As I read on though I got into the flow and zoned out, the burning sensation still standing, but my words had flow as if I were the characters in the story, when a character yelled, my voice did the same. I forgot I was even on stage. The lights facing me made it impossible to see the crowd. It blinded my anxiety just a little bit for me to get through my peice. When I finished, I took a short breath and backed away from the mic. I was done with my work, and the next time I read it, it will be the real deal, and ill have a copy of my work, in a book.

before leaving the campus, I talked to some of the professors, about what the requirements are, for applying to the college. Surprisingly the answer was not as I expected, even though GPA is listed, it doesn't have to be as good as that, what matters is the personal essay, and teacher recommendations, if you're a below the GPA, you still might have a chance.

With that I took some of the food they put out for us to eat, in a little to-go container and left to go home.

Check out my Insta, and Deviant Art

FearOfTheLiving (@fear0ftheliving) • Instagram photos and videos
FearOfTheLiving — Hobbyist, General Artist | DeviantArt